I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
