dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
