you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
