she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
