Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
