looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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