I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
