He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Please don't give away my fajitas
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
