Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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