Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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