I think I died a long time ago.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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