Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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