These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
