thus making me awesome and them whores
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
