i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
