my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
