I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
