That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
