Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
