There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
