I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
