pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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