Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you told grandpa to call you daddy
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
