We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
