Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
