OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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