Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize