So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
