She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
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I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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