At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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