yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
