Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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