Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
