If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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