you're like a bully in the Christmas story
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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