you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
