It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
