Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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