Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
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God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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