planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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