I cockslap morals
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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