I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
