mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
