i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
