I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
