Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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