So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
