You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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