I got chris browned last night
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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