We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're like the curious george of whores
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize