You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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