I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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