I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
