do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is my gift to your gina
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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