okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
