If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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