"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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