Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize