Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
