I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
